As I'm sure you might have noticed if we're friends on the dreaded Facebook, since moving to Aus I've become quite involved with the idea of surfing. I did the same thing I did with snowboarding in Canada, which was to buy my own board before I was anywhere near good enough to justify it and pledge to learn from then. The big difference between the two situations, apart from the heat, is that I've actually been surfing more than twice over here.
I've been pretty good with the pledge. I’ve been going every Sunday, with a couple of unavoidable exceptions (including a tsunami warning), and this weekend stepped it up to two days a weekend, with painful results.
I'm currently sat here with a grazed arse (which stings a hell of a lot more than you would think), a torso that is decorated with a fin slash and hurts when I turn, nackered arms and legs scattered with bruises. So why the hell do I do this when I'm not even getting that good?
Well, if you’ve never been surfing you probably haven’t ever experienced how purely fun it is. My first few times going in Cornwall showed me that despite freezing cold water, hailstones, sticky wetsuits and a complete lack of ability, a couple of hours surfing with a few friends can be one of the most amusing things you can do, especially when you’re all shit.
Since getting to Aus I’ve also learned just how amazing an experience surfing is, and how much of an achievement it is once you actually get stood on the damn board. Though people like Kelly Slater and Laird Hamilton make it look as easy as, well, standing on a plank of wood, it bloody well isn’t.
First you’ve gotta get out there in the first place. The point of surfing is to ride waves, and its these same waves that repeatedly hit you smack in the face at point blank range while you’re scuttling away from the shore to get out, sending you 5 feet back for every 3 feet you manage to paddle forwards. This quickly gets frustrating, and more importantly, exhausting. My person gripe is how much it makes your eyes sting.
Once you’re actually out far enough to catch anything and have got yourself pointed in the right direction, you’ve then got to try to catch something. They’re inevitably either few and far between, leaving you laid on your board getting neck ache from trying to keep an eye out for the slightest hint of a ripple behind you, or they’re just that little bit too big for a beginner, meaning that you paddle your heart out only to poop your pants as it gets to you and you realise you’re going to get beat down by a serious amount of water OR smashed on the head by a surfer who can actually do it and will not realise that you're totally in their way until they've already hit you. I would say this makes up 50% of time surfing at Manly.
Even if you do catch a wave, you'll either catch it wrong and nosedive, have to jump off because a swimmer clearly not understanding the SWIM BETWEEN THE FLAGS signs will be staring inanely at you as the tip of your board goes careering towards their face, forcing you to abandon the perfect wave you've been waiting 20 minutes for, so as not to kill them, or you'll get up for 3 seconds then wipe out badly.
But oh, what a beautiful 3 seconds they are.
The adrenaline of feeling the ocean push you before it pummels you totally is so divine, you instantly want more. You realise that the water is a cheeky drug dealer, giving you just enough to get you addicted then jacking up the price for what you now need. And more - you respect the sea. You don't fear the sharks so much because you understand that you're in their territory. You don't piss about because you know the power of the wave. You paddle out beyond the breaks and you listen to the glorious silence extending out further than you can even imagine. In sitting out there with all the noise in front of you, you see the hectic life of people contrasting the purity of nature. You understand.
You lay on your board soaked in sun, feet hanging down, calmer than you've ever been, then you paddle forward, catch a decent break and impress yourself with your best ride of the day.
It makes all the pain and embarrassment of being shit, crippled and sunburned quite, quite worthwhile.
I'm still worried that I'm going to do it and a goddamn shark is going to mistake me for a seal and rent me asunder with its sharp and oh-so pinchy teeth. That ain't cool, mayn.
ReplyDeleteI spit in the face of sharks that don't want to be cool.
P.S. your writing makes me insanely jealous as it manages to be fun, informative and ridiculous easy to engage with, all at the same time. My ham-fisted mashings of the keyboard are rather wan in comparison....
You flatterer! Now if you can put that in writing and someone get me a job doing exactly this and nothing more, that would be fabulous :D
ReplyDeleteAnd don't put yourself down, your writing is incendiary!